{"id":62,"date":"2016-02-17T09:26:54","date_gmt":"2016-02-17T09:26:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/?p=62"},"modified":"2018-12-14T09:28:19","modified_gmt":"2018-12-14T09:28:19","slug":"fearing-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/?p=62","title":{"rendered":"fearing change"},"content":{"rendered":"
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It has been nearly nine months since I moved back to Finland after living in the UK for 18 years - the previous 11 years were spent in Wales. I expected it to be hard, both practically and financially, to get everything sorted here: register, become part of the Finnish system, find a place to live and school and nursery for the children to attend, gain work\u2026 The list goes on. I knew what to expect in this sense. I had already done this twice before in my life. I moved to Estonia to study when I turned 20. This was me living on my own for the first time and it was a disaster and returned to Finland after half a year. Valuable lessons learnt, I moved to the UK two years later to study and then to work.
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Although my previous experiences of living abroad were filled with a range of emotions, the internal process of change was difficult. It felt as if I was trying to push myself through a weirdly shaped and tight tunnel. I managed and emerged from the other end eventually. I adapted. I am now back in my homeland. Is it what I expected?
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The last three months have been very hard in every way, which have resulted in old symptoms of eczema beginning to appear on my skin (my typical stress response). I have been trying to analyse the cause of it without getting to the root of the issue. I have just visited a colleague of mine at Neo Ehe\u00e4 Olo<\/a> and had a cranio-sacral theatrment, which brought some thoughts to the surface. I now realise that being busy with sorting things out for my whole family I have been neglecting the need to process my own inner change. There simply hasn\u2019t been any time. I am faced with this angular and tight tunnel called \u2019change\u2019 again. I can now see that sub-consciously I have been fearing to go through it again. I have been prevaricating and hiding behind the busyness.
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Now that I have identified the issue I hope that I can deal with it better. I hope that I can give it the time and space that it needs to resolve. After all, I am a different person now than in my early twenties. I have better mental and physical resources, tools and experience to cope with the change. At the end of the treatment, I had an image of me flowing through the tunnel in a more liquid form needing less effort and being less restricted by it. I believe that everything is going to be just fine in the end.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It has been nearly nine months since I moved back to Finland after living in the UK for 18 years - the previous 11 years were spent in Wales. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":63,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-62","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","clearfix"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=62"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":64,"href":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62\/revisions\/64"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/63"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=62"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=62"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tanjaraman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=62"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}